Dating sites are a dime a dozen, but for some they’re great because they require no real commitment of any kind, and you can basically browse about 100 bars, taverns and social clubs worth of people in about an hour flat. The funny thing is, is that there are now millions of success stories with dating sites and more people are giving them a try. But like anything else that has success, more enterpreneurs are coming out of the woodwork putting their own spin on these entities.  Here are 5 of the strangest and most bizarre dating sites on the net…and that’s saying a lot because there are thousands of them now.


What is Facemate? This dating site is for narcissistic people who want to find someone who possesses the same facial features they do. According to the makers of the site, “passion is subconsciously ignited when we spot someone whose facial features are similar to our own.” What the fuck? That’s like say you’re attracted to your sister. And why the hell is Seal and Heidi Klum on the advertisement page? Thanks, but no thanks.


What is Women Behind Bars? Exactly what it says, you are profiling women behind bars, couldn’t you just go on the mugshot website to do this? “Hey Mom, I’m settling down with a wonderful woman as soon as she gets out of a halfway house, just make sure not to leave your checkbook out when I bring her for Thanksgiving.” Clearly these women are just hustling you for canteen money.


What is Farmers Only? This here dating computer web-doohickie is just for farm handling, tractor ridin, fertilizer spreading, ok you get the picture, it’s for farm-folk, the nice part is, is that it helps them find a human companion as opposed to what they’re used to.


What is Positive Singles? Okay, let me put it subtle, the “positive” angle has nothing to do with your attitude. Still haven’t caught caught on? This site is for people with STDs. We assume this is where Chris Brown and Rihanna met.


Yes, I’m sure he doesn’t smell bad.

What is Sea Captain Date? How oddly specific?! This site is for people who want to meet a “real life sea captain,” whatever the fuck that is defined by exactly. And as much as I wanted to believe that this was some sort of “Funny or Die” skit, apparently they’re dead sea-rious, here’s a marketing video and everything!

This video is 100% authentic, I repeat it is not a skit. If you don’t believe me, visit seacaptaindate.com

If you’re going to use the web for wandering for that certain someone, stick to risking your life on Craigslist before you check out any of these matchmaking hellians. -EE



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